The · Upper · Echelon · of · PRAEst76

Poll #1184520 Does anyone actually have a job they enjoy doing?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 5

Do you love your Job?

I've never had a job I really liked. I've had a few that were bearable with the occasional enjoyable day, but mainly the jobs I've had were tedious, frustrating and quite often completely soul-destroyingly pointless.

I'm having a kind of existentialist crisis at the moment, that isn't helped by many people I know being unhappy in their jobs. So basically, for my own curiosity and the databases of the faceless  multinational corporation I sell these things to...

Note: Shutdown Day inadvertently abandoned due to excessive stress.

According to Autumn:

• White Wine
• Dog food
• Pizza
• Wheaten Bread
• His own poo
• Spagetti
• Pot Noodles
• Pepsi Max
• Curry Chips
• Bran Flakes with Rice Milk
• Athlone Advertiser
• Dogs Monthly magazine
• Peter's hippy wristlette
• Peter's wrist when it smells like a hippy wristlette
• ?
• Profit

Can you survive for a day without your computer, mp3 player, TV, cellphone, or indeed any technology?

Why not try it on the 3rd of May and see.

This is what the organisers of the second annual Shutdown Day are advocating. For one day people should shut down their computers and go outside, enjoy life. Regardless of the personal reason, whether it be social, enviromental, financial...

I think it's a good idea, as many of us have become too reliant on technology and having a day a year when we spurn it should help give us some clarity on the effect computers and related tech have on our lives.

It'd be a nice day to spend with friends so it's a shame I'm so far away from any, but it's a nice idea. Organise a small party or something. Invite me. I won't be able to come but it'd be nice anyway.

I'll probably spend it reading in the sun. Unless it's raining. In which case I'll read in the rain... and drink tea.

Join me.

It isn't until you've owned a large friendly dog with no sense of personal space and a strong willed rabbit that you realise that the psycho killer bunny, Caer Bannog from Monty Python and the Holy Grail isn't so much of a far fetched surreal fantasy.

As anyone who has met her knows, Tiikeri is a friendly dog, however she doesn't know when to leave people alone, whethere it's sniffing the trousers of complete strangers, climbing into visitors cars, or sitting infront of you with her head on your lap as you try to read or watch TV, whining every second you aren't stroking her nose.

This extends to the other animals in our family. Begemot, our cat, has never been particulary affectionate towards her and generally leaves the vicinity very quickly the moment she starts seeking attention from him. Since we adopted little kitten Bob, Begemot has also adopted him and spends much of his time wrestling with him, feeding him or showing him around the neighbourhood. castraiting a tomcat turns them minto an Auntie... I never realised this until now. Bob, on the otherhand is quite frighteened of Tiikeri as she chased him the first time he appeared and anytime she encounters him she's immedienately trying to seek his attention or clean him. He thinks she's trying to eat him and either cowers in fear from this dog looming over him, or runs away and hides.

Autumn, our rabbit, is similar. Tiikeri discovered that if she jumps around provocatively, slapping her paws and yelping quietly infront of autum, he gets excited and starts to "play". Like ourselves Tiikeri finds it hard to read Autumns mood. He's a rabbit, they aren't that expressive, or rather, aren't expressive in obvious ways like dogs or cats. To her, he was emulating her behaviour, "playing" in return: slapping his front paws on the ground, hopping in circles, charging at her, making little noises...

To autumn, however, a challenge has been made. He's defending himself from a perceived attack and, far from the perceived myth of the bunny as a timid little fluffy creature, he will fight the death. Launching himself like a furry rocket towards the throat of his foe.

Tiikeri only realises this when enough fur has been snipped off with those little incisors to reveal the flesh around her jugular vein and the teeth go into skin. At this point the pain tells her than the play has gone awry and she tries to escape. However her play-pal has attached himself to her neck like some small fluffy vampire and she can't shake him.

I usually intervene at this point where a snarling ball og fur has been created and remove Autumn via the scruff of his neck to to a dark bathroom for a time-out.

Sadly we only live in a small flat. It's hard to keep the two of them apart and Autumn is used to being able to run around freely (he's litter trained, it's not harder than training a cat and their poo is tidy, and in Tiikeri's opinion, quite tasty). Keeping him in a cage would be cruel. We keep him separate when we are out, but Tiikeri seems to forget his behaviour quickly and starts taunting him to play when she encounters him.

What we really need is space. Preferably in the country side, surrounding a small farm-house.

With broadband.

And a windmill.

And...

And...

Robots, and an underground club.

And stuff.

But for now I need to put reigns and a ball-gag on my pet rabbit.

ESB, irelands monopolic electricity supplier are wagging their finger at me via SMS for non-payment of my bill.

It seems to be normal in Ireland for official information to be sent my text messaging. Possibly not unusual for a country with approximately 1.2 cellular phones to every person, however I find it irritating and unprofessional. There is too much danger of it getting lost amongst the spam from pizza parlours, daft work collegues and general wrong numbers. I'd prefer them to send me a letter, or just phone me; I probably won't answer but it's always worth a try.

Beyond this annoyance there is the one where my bill is unpaid, despite me arranging with them to pay my bill via direct debit. a service I actually rang up a few months ago specifically to confirm... just so I would prevent this kind of scenario.

Sadly the staff at ESB have proven to be as reliable as everything else in this pantomime of a country and I'm now expected to get time off work so I can queue at the post office with all the other plebs.

What happened to the direct debit I set up I don't know. Perhaps I merely dreamt about it.

On a related note I was told that some independant fast food outlets only charge the listed price to immigrants, tourists and people they don't like, Everyone else gets "extra change" back. I'm never sure whether to believe these stories or not. Anywhere else I'd dismiss it either as leg-pull or someone's paranoiac groundless conspiracy-theory, but here... I dunno. It wouldn't surprise me. Even with the majority of staff in these places being "immigrants" or from a non-irish background (the Irish often consider themselves too good for this kind of work, though not too good to sit on welfare). Most foreigners who come to Ireland for an extended period and manage to survive the first few years eventually go native: developing a bizarre hybrid accent, the same relaxed attitude to society and a casual arrogant ignorance.